Thursday, December 07, 2006

Not Quite Yet

In your mid-30s, people at church might start seein' U as a likely candidate to help counsel in women's ministry, so they nice U up for de women's retreat -- U can give good advice to younger sisters (late teens and twenties, who are single or just married). Not necessarily advisable.
What I've noticed:
* Some think because they're more experienced they know more about every-ting than U do. How can U help "to call any play," when they've been playin' de field an' sure they know de 'game' more than U?
* These retreats can seem like an unpleasant juvenile slumber party when U check de ratio of "younger" vs. "older."
* No matter how other counselors warn U, an' U research in advance an' feel sure de "younger" can't take U aback wid "hardcore" topics, there are always some who try to discomfit U wid graphic questions about de church's views on this or that. Maintained mi composure an' offered de followin' advice on de topic of someone wantin' to re-ignite de marital flame by doin' rectal whatever: "U just married recently, U shouldn't need to 're-ignite' nutten already, if U want to do suppem nice & spicy for your hubby, cook him suppem wid pepper in it, no need to get drastic an' start ruinin' your personal plumbin' just because of any-ting U read, saw, or heard."
* Not sure if "older" seem condescendin' to de "younger" but some "younger" can seem condescendin' when U advisin' them. U print out all kinda info from de centre for disease control & various websites (from ob-gyn to pastoral counsel site) an' is like dem nuh appreciate none o' your efforts to arrive at de sessions prepared to help dem.
* Parentin' is seen as a task that some definitely not eager to embrace.
* Some younger ladies there are really nice. They worry about "simpler" matters, stuff we've prob'ly all contemplated at some time or other, an' can relate to. E.g., a young lady was worried some folks countin' de months to know if she conceived before or after de marriage. Was quite forthright wid all o' dem. Told her how ages ago some folks said ah was just rushin' to wed so that ah could have sex -- de snide unspoken part was: "And that is if you two aren't already fornicatin'." (Sometimes older brothers & sisters in Christ put pressure on younger ones or even de newly converted -- thru gossip, etc. -- without even noticin' how they alienate people.)
* Memorable: Sister "E" and her empathetic advice to a lonely sister, to whom she's prob'ly now a mentor in general. Sister "E" says without rancour that she waits on the Lord since all will be done in His own good time. Almost in her 60s, she's got more maternal instincts than many, and cares for likkle boys an' girls like they were her own. Her advisee let others in on their discussion, which was good, considerin' de closed door nature of most o' these sessions.
* Am not yet necessarily 'fittin' de role (to counsel an' minister) to many who need it.

3 comments:

Abeni said...

Take it in steps.If you help one person it not in vain

Melody said...

Thanks for de encouragement, Kam.

cool destiny said...

Continue to do whatever you are so moved to do, no matter how small. Do not be daunted by anyone.

Glad to see a post from you too! It's been quite a while!!!