Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
Sunday, February 20, 2005
She: What happened today?
Piggy: Ah fell asleep.
She: Oh, you felt ill.
Piggy: Ah fell asleep.
She: The message was so vital--you couldn't just fall asleep; you must've felt ill.
Piggy: Actually, Sister (X), ah fell asleep.
She: Sister (Y) did a very good creative-dance performance. Surely, you didn't miss that, or were you still not well at that point?
Piggy: (Tryin' ta recall de performance--Sister (Y) has a thick, voluptuous figure that had set all de Brothers starin' at her in her leotards an' wispy tutu, as she'd approached de pew to explain de relevance ov her dance to her singles' ministry. Mr. Pig had nudged mi awake when Deacon called up de Sister to do her dance, but I'd fallen asleep again immediately.)
She: (quick embrace) Not to worry, dear. Just feel better soon, okay?
Piggy: (woulda returned embrace, but embrace done a'ready) Okay.
From what ah remember ov de sermon, Reverend was talkin' about de disciples, an' de importance ov wisely choosin' our company. He started off by readin' from Isaiah 3, then from Matthew 10, then somewhere else in de Old Testament, Luke? Then some-fing, an' then some-fing. What can ah say? Choose your company--that's what ah remember--de service went over mi head this week. Hush.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Bloggers, this is a picture ov Miss Lou. Mi Grandma is still at de top ov mi female luv list, but Miss Lou an' mi English teacher from Wolmer's are two women whom ah also luv an' respect--Barbara Gloudon's prob'ly still another, but that's a whole 'nother Blog. Anyway, ah luv Miss Lou for many reasons. She's always been wise enough to value de culture ov her nation. Some folk never learn how to value their own, so it was a great lesson ah learnt as a child an' even now from Miss Lou. Mi earliest memories involved watchin' de end ov her Ring Ding career, an' it would've been so much nicer to have seen her throughout her Ring Ding TV career, but I'm still grateful that ah saw any ov it--even if it was de very end. She's always celebrated de J'can patois dialect in poetry an' prose, when others sneered at their own dialect in JA--what's even more remarkable is that she excelled an' still excels at it, havin' taken it to de level ov an art-form. She's quite elderly now, an' unfortunately a widow as ov a few years ago. She never got rich from her vast volume ov work, but she didn't do any ov it for de luv ov money, she did it for de luv ov people an' de preservation ov their/her culture, so she deserves to be happy. If she ever reads this Blog, ah want her to know that ah luv her too. I'll post a few ov her poems every now an' then, so we can enjoy her talent on de Blog. Have a nice weekend!
Friday, February 18, 2005
"It's over," says de wife. "It done! Totally done."
That's why they suggested we go to dinner together this evenin'? WTF?
Now, there's de way to disturb a good meal. Then Mr. Pig goes into fix-it mode, an' starts suggestin' counselors an' such, but they say they don't want any counselor, "It's just over." Now, this ticks off Mr. Pig. He doesn't believe in people discussin' problems that they don't want to solve. "Since yu don't want no counselor, then don't bother bring it up," he says. "Let's just enjoy our money's worth of a good meal and go home." But no. They want to vent. And vent. Even though de husband said it's nobody's fault, they're suddenly goin' on about who said what an' who did what when where. They get a bit heated, an' distract de couple at de next table. I'm still eatin', swallowin' up de evenin', can't wait to go pick up de Piglet an' reach back home. Fave-waiter rushes over before their squabble gets more noticeable, an' seein' that their steak's been ignored, he coaxes them wif delicious dessert on de dumbwaiter. De woman looks close to tears. She doesn't want any pistachio creme pie. De man's face is set like, "Whatever!" I'm tryin' to be tactful an' not upset her any more than she already is, but not Mr. Pig. "(Waiter), split this down de middle," he says. "An' bring 2 doggy bag, please." Fave waiter relaxes a bit, he knows us--though he doesn't know de other couple--an' he trusts us not to let anyfing escalate. De husband isn't at all pleased wif Mr. Pig's indifference, but bein' indifferent, Mr. Pig don't care. Soon, we're all paid up--fave waiter is tipped even better than usual--an' we're goin' into our car, as they go into theirs--few strained partin' words said, as we leave. "We'll call you guys later," de husband tells us, an' they're drivin' off. We can hardly wait to get home, but instead ov comin' straight home, we stop at de park, sit on a bench lookin' at de frozen stream, an' go over what just happened. "Don't them did look happy?" Mr. Pig asks, an' I'm like, "Yep, but who really knows?" Evidently, they weren't happy--they aren't right now--but they gave a good impression ov happiness. "We can't mek that happen to we," Mr. Pig says, an' de thought ov it is so scary that we snuggle up on de bench for a good 20 minutes just starin' at de pond whose ducks are nowhere to be seen, before wi goh pick up de Piglet, an' drive come home. I'm still like, "WTF?"
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
How to make me:
1 part industrious
1 part (mad-scientist) creative
2 parts nutty an' impulsive (:^)
2 parts loyal an' honest
So, Bloggers, would ya like to say even one ov your own ingredients or how to make a 'you'?
Monday, February 14, 2005
Hi, Bloggers, here's a fuzzy picture ov Da Piggy. (Yu didn't fink I'd post a clear-as-day picture ov mi-self after cussin' out mi workplace an' callin' be bosses hemorroids, now did yu?) Anyway, yu never know who's readin' or where they hail from, so I'll do like Yammie did, an' say, "If you're readin' this, please write 'I read' in de comments, to let Da Piggy know that yu visited. Have a great day!
Sunday, February 13, 2005
God wouldn't lead us to it, without leadin' us through it, so whenever life gets really challengin', take comfort in de knowledge that all is never lost an' you can never be lost wif God, because he'll lead you through de harsh times. Like de song says, "There's victory in Jesus."
Friday, February 11, 2005
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
An emergency delivery had to take place at a mother's home at the last minute. Due to a shortage of personnel and a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call, and the house was very, very dark. The paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight over her mommy so he could see while he delivered the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked, watching with wide eyes as her mother pushed and pushed until little Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted the infant by his little feet and slapped the baby on his bottom. Connor began to cry. Concerned that Katelyn might be upset at seeing her baby brother crying from being slapped, the paramedic gently turned his attention to Katelyn, thanked her for her help and asked her what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Katelyn looked firmly at her newborn brother and quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again!"
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Kami says it's possible to write about Bob on his earthday without sounding off at his widow who now has so much conflict. Here's a try.
Ode to Bob, Owed to Bob
Bob, what would Jamaica be
If you were never born to we?
From Reggae to Dancehall, Deejay to Rap,
Jamaica woulda hardly deh 'pon de map!
What would Jamaica do were it not for you?
Win few Olympic race, then retreat into "A who?"
We all know, if you were never there,
We'd be ackee bidout saltfish, an' so-soh dry bulla bidout de pear.
Even now yu spirit chants in warm, vibesy tones
Singing, "Please don't yu rock my bones!"
But some still determined fe rock yu bones.
Them say it don't matter where yu bury
Because that can't change where yu did born,
But Jamaica fightin' to keep yu restin'
Forever within its arms.
We give thanks an' praise to Father God
For his blessed gift named Bob.
Happy Earth-strong, Bob!
Saturday, February 05, 2005
This is just to test de photo bucket that Kami told mi about. This flower is mi early Valentine's treat to all ov yu luvly Bloggers an' stalkers out there. Next, ah might just publish mi Granny--ah tried to publish her this mornin', but me an' Gramm' need to wheel an' come again. Have a nice weekend!
Friday, February 04, 2005
LL is settin' an example for people ov all ages--which is so fragile, 'cause so many would want to adopt him as an ABSOLUTE role model, an' then get suicidal if LL falls from grace. Yeah, we gotta rememba that he's only human, but still de fact is, he seems like such a good person. On American Idol, he far exceeded everyone's expectations in de love that he showed EVERY contestant--good an' bad. He's a family man, an' a likeable individual, so ah just had to add him to mi Blog. True ta himself, he's showin' that it can be done.
Today, ah heard about a hurricane rippin' through Bermuda--rough enough to close down all but de most essential gov't services. De hope is that de hurricane's effects will be far less severe than we've been witnessin' in recent times in other places. Heard it's still pretty bad, an' ah gotta verify that. If 2005 isn't a wake-up call to almost every region of God's green earth, then people, I don't know what is! Have a great day!
Thursday, February 03, 2005
1. You're walkin' in de woods, wif whom are yu walkin'?
2. You see an animal, what kinda animal is it?
3. What do yu do wif/to de animal?
4. You see a house an' enter it, what's on de table in de house?
5. You step out & see a drinkin' goblet on de ground, what's it made ov?
6. Is it old/new--what do ya do wif de goblet?
7. You see a body ov water--puddle, pool, ocean, etc.--what is it?
8. What do yu do wif de body ov water.
This is supposed to give ya a glimpse ov yu own emotional predisposition.
1. De person yu walk wif, is de most important one to you.
2. De animal yu see represents your view ov yu fears.
3. How yu deal wif de animal is how yu deal wif yu fears.
4. What's on de table's what yu take from life--flowers/food=joy.
5. De goblet yu see is yu view ov what you're made ov.
6. How yu treat de goblet is how yu treat yourself.
7. De body ov water represents your sensuality.
8. How you indulge or refrain is how yu indulge or refrain in life.
What do ya fink? Does it reflect de real you?
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Bad man don't bathe
Them deh boy noh have noh rag
Bad man a weak heart
Yet him deh a road a brag
Shotta clothes don't WASH
A dutty clothes them boy deh wear ...
This version ov de song is supposed to be de female's response to de scorn that some ov those so-called "gallis" like Ele display toward women. How can men who claim to be ladies' men, show such scorn for de female body?
The lady on Pastess made de mistake ov tellin' people that she 'helped herself' now an' then ( Doc called this "takin' bizniz in hand" or "holdin' a back" in his recent post about a public flasher. Anyway, de worst part ov it for de woman was when she said that she's 64 years old. Oh no! One popular caller, David, said that she's too old to be settin' that kinda example, an' he'd NEVER let that woman cook for him, "She's a dirty woman, I'd never eat from har!" Others hopped on his band-wagon; a few women even got in on de act. Pastess had shows about what should be de right age for people to throw in de sexual towel. On those shows, many people said there's no age limit for men, but that women should retire from sex before they reach 60. Pastess says that this just shows how narrow people's views are, an' that de best example de older woman coulda set for kids was to call in an' discuss frankly some details ov her personal life as she had done.
Pastess has a point. Ah saw a psych on TV once who had de same view. She said she grew up knowin' very little about adult issues an' was totally unprepared for ALL ov it. She was candid wif de young girls to whom she directed her speech, tellin' them that their Moms shoulda already told them all that they were hearin' that day. She said she knew that their Moms prob'ly had de same experiences, that she wasn't de only one who learnt de hard way that sex an' love are very separate for a vast number ov men, that a man's body an' a woman's body were wired so alike an' yet so differently, an' that she wasn't de only rocket scientist who thought that she was really dyin' when she first had an orgasm. She said too many women are ignorant ov how their parts work. Well, if de responses on Pastess are much to go by, she can add a lot ov J'can girls to her list ov de sexually ignorant, 'cause those callers were sure puttin' on a pious act last night!