Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Pork-pourri

Yu know how psychologists say that de most critical non-family bond is de first same-sex friendship that each ov us develops when we get to about 10 years old? Well, mi mind's been wanderin' to mi long-time friend from school days, K. She was such a marvelous kid. She used to be a helluva "dance instructor" when she was likkle, an' she used to be a raahtid hairdresser too--she used to fix mi hair in all kinda wacky hairdos--ah fink she believed ah was her doll even though we're de same age. She was mi confidante, an' mi company fe hug-up, as we crossed de road to our friend's house--we argued & 'gree back so many times! When we got to Wolmer's , an' we had no classes together at all, we drifted apart, then after high school, we totally lost touch. Last ah heard, she was workin' at Air J, an' she's been married for some time now, but ah don't even know her new surname. Mi other friend, S, migrated to Austria wif her parents over a decade ago--don't know where she is now. 'S' was so irreverent an' cool. Ah remember in confirmation class, she said she wouldn't confess ALL de sins ov that week to Father Cr. (sinful thoughts, masturbation, etc.), to repent ov them an' be forgiven through intercession. "Him can goh catch him jollies off-ah somebody else," she said. "'Cause me naw tell him all a my bizniz!" She told him only what she wanted to, even after we told her that if she didn't confess everyfing, then one day far away, Holy Communion woulda choke har. :-) She stuck to her guns, an' held out on him--but based on de parts that she told him, she still had to do more penance than everybody else! Suppose she did tell him everyfing--all now she'd still be sayin' Hail Mary's! She was one ov a kind.
I've long been wantin' a reunion, an' some sweet nostalgic posts from Sunshine, Kami, an' Jdid have added to mi resolve. When ah read Scratchie's post yesterday, ah remembered some-fing that K's mother said one evenin', when she was sittin' on her lawn chair, an' we kids sprawled off on her shiny veranda tiles. (We could talk to K's mom about anyfing.) 'S' was sayin' that fornication wouldn't be a big deal if people only did it once, an' never a second time. However, K's mom told us never to fall into de trap ov believin' that anyone can easily do wrong once an' only once. "You can't miss what you never had," K's mom said. "So it's much better for someone to remain a tantalizing thought than for you to convert that person into a disturbing memory. Confess an' repent." K's mom didn't seem too keen on confession booths either--'God is de direct line, why go through de operator then?' Scratchie's post was partly about handlin' extra-marital attraction, an' wif de memory ov K's mom, came this memory gem. "Speak the truth, and speak it ever, cause it what it will; (s)he who hides the wrong he does, does the wrong thing still." That's supposed to be de gem that helps spouses to tell each other everyfing--even de bad stuff, but still we don't have to burden a partner wif hourly reports every time someone tries to flirt wif us, or approaches our interest. That's just plain cruel, an' that kinda stuff would make anyone insecure. Funny how readin' a Blog stirred up such thought. Keep on Bloggin, folks.

8 comments:

Jdid said...

true thing about speaking the truth.

Abeni said...

Girl,those friends were such an important part of one's life eh.You know how many times I go home all sad cos my friend had another friend and never had the same time for me.It took my aunt to explain that people make other friends and it don't necessarily mean they like you less.I still close with some friends from primary school and it nice to talk to people who know all about you.

Sunshine said...

Miss Melody-Pork-pourri!!! Yu have me howling with dat title. I hope you get to reunite with your special highschool girlfriend (s).
Hey-me hear it cowl, cowl, freeze yu butt off temperature up there. Look keep warm yu hear.

Scratchie said...

Hi Melody, I know what you mean about the friends. I've had people come into my life and I've had them go some willingly some forcefully. It's the cycle of life that we all have to go through. The guys I went to school with meet up from time to time and usually it irie. There are those who never show up and I've lost contact with quite a few but that is life. Heck, I have family that I've lost touch with. If you do lose touch try to lose touch on good terms if yuh zimi.

Anonymous said...

Well now, Moppet, when I was 10 I was hanging with a yout' who was cool, but he went away to New Jersey and mix up inna di wrong crowd. Its like he went crazy. Anyway, he used to come back to Jamaica periodically, and he would usually cause nuff trouble and get me into fights. Well, by the time I met Natty (at 18) I decided to give him a walk, because him just cause me to get into problem all the time. I sort of just cut him off, braps, just so. To this date he feels that I'm an asshole. Me, I know he is a bit of an asshole, so I doh really care...

Still, I was 11 or 12 when I met Doctor D, and he is still my compadre so...
Mad Bull

Anonymous said...

Yeah Melody, bredrins are so important. I have lost a couple due to migration, one did get mix up inna jugs and did time. Him back here now. I can see how we have drifted but we were pretty good friends way back when. I doh shun him if I see him, but the gold teet inna him mout and the bling out is not my crew at all.

Now, I have two bona fide bredrins.....the Bull is the longest standing of the two of dem. They more like the brothers I never had to me.

Regarding the confession ting. I'm one o dem Catholics that don't think it necessary to use no ICAS code (the Priest), I like dialling direct miself. I feel if we sin and truly talk to God about it, He will forgive us if we really sorry.

Actually, back at George's I was sent out of First Confession on account of chatting....I've never been back. Maybe I should do a likkle blog post about that soon.

Treasure your friends girl...nuff o dem betta dan some family! Dr. D.

Melody said...

Jdid, that's what supposed ta set we free.
Kami, I've been there wif that "my" friend behaviour--kinda like Jesus, "Yu either with ME or yu against me." By de time ah reached grade 4, reality knocked some sense into me--some kids repeated, some got streamed into de Common Entrance track so some skipped a grade, an' ah saw some close friends makin' new friends, an' walkin' round wif them arms around one another' shoulders. OMG. Panic or accept it. (lol)
Sunshine, by God's grace de reunion will happen. Still, readin' some ov Scratchie's, Dr. D's, & MB's comments, ah can see de other side ov some friends (havin' to leave forcefully, bein' rowdy, fist-fights, gold-teeth, an' not much in common), if some reunion don't work, then God might just be sparin' me. (lol) Doc, b4 this, ah can't tell when last ah hear 'bout ICAS!

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