Monday, January 24, 2005

Jus' De Facts, Ham.

After talkin' to mi heartbroken uncle, an' hearin' how he's puttin' on a brave face every time he steps out into de $#&%@ freezin' London streets to rebuild what some triflin' gold-digger stole from him, it occurred to mi: these days, love sucks wif a straw where singles are concerned. Yeah, singles are free agents, they don't have to answer to anybody except God & de gov't, they keep odd hours, they flirt freely 'cause there's no wife to get mad at 'em, but at de end ov it all, they must battle this paranoia: who's just tryin' to use me? Ah mean, isn't that de world we live in? Ah know I'm no expert on de datin' scene (Mr. Pig an' I knew we were meant to marry from ah was 20 years old, an' over a dozen years later, we still believe we were right. Others didn't believe us then, but they've since shut up. PTL!), but de single life seems rougher an' rougher out there.
Point is, de world gets more materialistic by de second, an' that affects some people more than others. If you're not one who's drawn to de vanity, then you just might be a sittin' duck for those who want to con a sentimental schmuck. I'm glad I'm spoken for. Why? 'Cause I'm such a sentimental schmuck. Yes, I am. Truth is truth, an' I'm not ashamed to say it. Ah still melt when mi husband sneaks up behind mi an' puts a likkle kiss on mi neck. To me, that's priceless. And I just cannot imagine people goin' through these displays ov affection, knowin' deep down that their only concern is how much money they can con out ov de person who's weak for them. Those money-mongers are savages! Mi husband's lucky too, 'cause he's just as sentimental as De Piggy. However, mi equally sentimental uncle's not so lucky. As de sayin' goes, him pick an' pick, soh 'til him pick shet. Tough. There just has to be some sure-fire way ov weedin' out de users an' gold-diggers, aside from just plain old intuition. There's got to be a strategy to sussin' them out, an' castin' them aside from they bat that first eye-lash at yu. Time doesn't always tell, yu know, some-time it tell' too late! Singles, ah fink there should be a datin' resume--more precise than datin'-service profiles. De resume should contain totally updated med records, profiles ov ex-lovers, any short- & long-term goals, work history, family profile (in case de relatives are in league wif de gold-digger, like mi uncle's ex's relatives were), and an essay outlinin' habits, fitness facts, and any idiosyncrasy. This docket-resume should be notarized by a JP or notary public or any official who can bind de dater to what he/she's got on paper and penalize fraud. Some bandoolu ones woulda still slip through, but for de most part, it would put crucial info up front. Seems way ahead ov its time, ah know, but don't yu feel it's a good idea?

12 comments:

Abeni said...

The dating scene real hard.Most times you just have to hope you get lucky or that you get a true picture of the person before you get too deeply involved.

Scratchie said...

Kiss Kiss Piggy, I won't knock you here. I got married at 22. It's been almost 18 years. I have no regrets. We had a lot of critics and we had lots of support so we went with gut feelings. I look at the dating scene these days and I get scared for my two teens. It ruff, nuh true? The added factor of distance makes it worse. I don't think there is any sure way of telling but the only thing I can advise is not to judge everybody by one bad experience. If you do, you will impose your old experiences over any chance for future love.

Anonymous said...

Aaah Porcine one....as a single myself...one never knows. Met one who was attracted to the fact that I'm a medic...assume seh me loaded. Poor ting. There's no goldmine or short term investment here love.

I still looking, and hope to find the right lady soon. If it is to be it will be.

Congrats to people like you and Mr. Porcine, Scratchie and Co. for keeping it together. Relationships hard. Dr. D.

Jdid said...

nice idea on the dating profiles. It might be sort of helpful. I think in matters of the heart though anything is a risk ya duz juss gotta pray god send the right person I guess

Melody said...

Seems like it's just de luck ov de draw, Kami, an' luck is so uncertain!
Kiss Kiss, Scratchie, you went wif yu heart too, ah really identify wif that. Ah just beg God to lead de pampered Piglet to de right person or lead de right person to him, an' ah pray God will do de same for Da Short One an' Da Tall One. Still, it's given to us mere humans to worry even after we pray. Oh well.
Doc, hate to say it, but gold-diggers kinda go wif de territory ov your field. Poor dem, fe true, 'cause you naw fall fe dem tricks. Ah trust God that you'll find de right lady in good time.
Jdid, you said it: we just have to pray to God, 'cause choosin' de wrong person can be like livin' hell on earth.

Anonymous said...

Dating profiles may not be as far away as you think. Try selling your ideas to President Bush. Hell, he wants to gather all that information on everybody on earth to protect US interests anyway. Mek him understand that he can fund the computers and othere hardware/software/peopleware costs by selling that info to people who are looking for their true love and I'm sure he'll buy in. Heck, after he passes the personal microchip law, he can sell little chip readers that you can walk with and as you pass a person, you just press the button and hey presto, you know everything about him/her, down to what underwear they have on!

Mad Bull

Sunshine said...

Hi Melody-Buoy-I feel yu pain fe yu Uncle. It's all about the money eh. Don't get me wrong. Money is great and lots of it. Nothing wrong with that. It's not money that makes people greedy. It's people that are greedy.
Your uncle like those of us that have been taken advantage of will bounce back. Off course. Learn the lesson presented to him. The gold digger did him a favor by doing it now than when they married. Can you imagine being married to that!! More complications. He has a second chance and he's still young. Maybe life is telling him to be responsible for his own monies.
Anyway, congratulations to all of you in your happy marriages. That's so sweet Melody you still get a thrill from de hubby.

Melody said...

MB, yu have a point, Bush already a search, soh datin' info would suit him well--but me's not a Bushy, ;-) soh me naw carry mi idea to him--although it IS blogged for de virtual public.
Sunshine, that's how mi husband look at it, yu know--him seh retribution is a harsh suppem, soh yes, that woman will face her own judgement fe true. Maybe SOON. (Yes, Mr. Pig is still a big thrill! :-)

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