Wednesday, January 05, 2005

De Ongoin' Oink

Greetins from De Piggies! Last night, ah heard a troubled final-year UWI student tellin' Dear Pastess that she doesn't know what'll happen to girls who look like she does. She said she just doesn't believe that guys are interested in de purely Afrocentric. "Don't worry, sweetheart," Dear Pastess soothed her. "You'll soon find a nice guy." But she was inconsolable; she said that on de UWI campus all she sees are de biracial girls bein' wined and dined by both de Black and de mixed males, and that's led her ta feel that Black girls might never marry and multiply. She's out to pasture at her young age, it seems. Dear Pastess told her that she's got a lot goin' for her, as charmin' as her voice was and as eloquently as she expressed her (low) self-concept. She couldn't be convinced. That was disturbin'. Some men called in and tried to explain why they prefer de more obviously biracial (askin' if all J'cans really multi-racial), or even to pledge their admiration for Black women & EVERY kinda women. However, de girl had started a snowball rollin', and soon other women were callin' in to complain that de men who choose Black women refuse to give them de royal treatment that de biracial ones get. New version ov an outdated song, and just when it seemed like Dear Pastess was gettin' somewhere drummin' into them that times are a-changin' and color matters less these days, there was de one sour-orange who called to say, "Black man like me haffe lighten them lineage soh that them pickney won't born too Black and suffer." Aaaaaaagh!!!!! Stop it, JA! We'll lag behind de rest ov de world, if wi hang on to mental slavery. Stop it, JA--are they even listenin'?

12 comments:

Abeni said...

Unfortunately a lot of people still hung up on that sort of thing.You know to be cute you have to have the good hair kinda thing.I actually started a blog post on this(will post it sometime) with some experiences I had re color.

Melody said...

That post sounds very interestin', Kami; I'm lookin' forward to it. :-)

Scratchie said...

Hi Melody,
It seems to be an ongoing debate and never ending it would seem. It is unfortunate that for a region with such rich heritage and ethnic diversity, we hold the old slavery mentality aloft. I remember meeting someone a few years ago and her comment was that "..an im hair nice and have quality eh!" I was in awe because it was like any other hair to me and for all intents and purpose was a hell of lot more difficult to care for than how they say it looked. Mi well want to chop it off.

What makes my hair or skin colour better or worse than yours? I have not gotten an answer in all my 39 (soon to be 40) years here. Maybe you guys can help. I really hope the young lady of whom you write changes her outlook.

Sunshine said...

It would be unfair for me to comment because I'm not black and what life is like living as a black woman down as yard or foreign. However, she sounds as if she has low self esteem fe true.

Anonymous said...

Trus me, I tiyad a chat about this 'tall hair' and 'brown skin' issue. I have actaully done talks about the abuse of bleaching creams here.

The poor girl will find a mate, she just needs to realize that her Afrocentricity is juat as beautiful as those of a lighter hue with 'pretty' hair!

(I've had this discussion and been told by some that who am I to talk, as since I'm light skinned with 'pretty hair' I doh have a problem!) Dr. D.

Melody said...

Scratchie, it makes mi wonder if people really want this to change. If we just could raise our children where irrelevant differences didn't create boundaries and hinder unity! As mi Grandma always said, "Looks disappear in de blink ov an eye. Good ways will last! A kind heart, open mind, and good ways!"
Sunshine, ah respect what you're sayin'. I've mostly been overlooked in J'can racial regard--not bein' de object ov those who target "brown/red," and not bein' de object ov those who target "black." Mi appearance didn't stand out sufficiently to meet either label, so ah didn't get de irrational plus/minus that either extreme would face; praise God! Still, so many have been labeled and hurt.
Dr. D, it must be hard to lecture against bleachin', when de abusers ov de products believe yu have an inherent advantage which undermines your credibility as a speaker. It's tedious, but it's probably heartenin' to know that if your message reaches just one person it'd be worth de effort.

Jdid said...

its pretty sad but its a reality in the caribbean that skin color is a big issue. remember this one old lady in her 70s or 80s when i was growing up got soe help from one of our local politicians, her comments were he is a real nice fella even though he so black. lawd ave mercy

Melody said...

Lawd have mercy, indeed! :-(

Anonymous said...

You are all talking as though its only in the Caribbean that this occurs.... This mentality is alive and well in the U.S. too.... Check the bleaching creme companies where they sell the most products if you don't believe me, or read some of the black american magazine and read how the black women are always complaining that their men want the brownings, or worse, white women. Its a universal problem, people. I'm sure that it even obtains in Africa. Will it ever disappear? Dunno. Its just another challenge we face.

Mad Bull

Melody said...

Indeed, Mad Bull, de problem is universal. Psychologists theorize that next to proximity/prolinquity, de major catalyst to attraction is similar appearance. "People easily tend to be attracted to people who look like dem"--obviously, where Afro concerned, some other theory stronga than that one.

Yamfoot said...

well i'll take my afrocentric afro and sit in a corner by myself, celebrating.

once you put yourself together well, you beautiful no matter what other people say.

Melody said...

Afro (referring to hairdo & not to total ethnicity) is as fashionable an option as any other. Total ethnicity/race isn't optional, but de proliferation ov bleachin' products and fervor ov usage suggests that many are still tryin' to opt out. True, Yammie, anybody who feels beautiful and presents that beauty will be recognized as a beautiful person. (Pity; those most at-risk from product abuse are never de ones to read this kinda stuff.)