Wednesday, December 29, 2004


You're at a party. Very festive atmosphere. De music and de menu? Food for de stomach AND de soul. De crowd? Good, lively people--and your special someone is in your arms, so de atmosphere yields fun. Here's your choice, luv: do you enjoy de marvelous moment, or do you grieve because you know that not too far down de road there's bound to be cause for your grief? Your answer is your philosophy and your lot in life.
Recently De Piggy's been lost in introspection. How does one reconcile Christmas wif cataclysmic disaster? Yuletide tsunami? Like Mr. Pig said, "Table-claat!! What a signs-an'-wonda, eeh man!?" Ah commented at Jdid's that this is de stuff ov life--de yin and de yang--much like sweet AND sour tingle more than sweet OR sour. Still, last Sunday's sermon that ambled along these lines left me wif more questions than answers--thus, ah didn't post any sentence from it. "It is given to man to live but once," so ah guess it's given to us to respond to ONE moment at a time. If you're at de party, get involved in de party; if de party's a wake, get involved in de wake. But don't squander de joy ov a birfday party, fearin' de certainty ov de next wake. Guilt at others' sorrow in light ov our own happiness is a high mental hurdle--De Piggy can't quite scale it either, luv; but ah do believe that sometimes de bereaved are uplifted by others' good cheer. (No; don't sing, "It's a weddy time again," at a memorial service.) Bear wif me, I'm workin' this out in mi head, while ah write it. Maybe, I'll grasp it all by de end ov this post . . . Maybe not. Enjoy your day, Bloggers!

Friday, December 24, 2004

Merry Christmas To You

One day left ta go; tomorrow's da Day! Merry Christmas to you, luv. May you and your family enjoy this holiday, and remember de reason for de season. Merry Christmas to Dr. D, de Scratchie family, sunny Sunshine, Jdid da poet, Kami/Abeni, da MB family, Princess P de la Jam, Stu & Jannis, Yammie, da Angry Doggy, Ciya & De Tower, and all de spouses, kidlets (as Ciya would say :-), and family, who add substance to our holiday season. To EVERYbody, may we all meet wif our heart's dearest desires.
"Happy holidays, happy holidays; while the merry bells keep ringing, happy holiday-y-ys to you!"

Glad 4 A New Day

Wednesday was a somewhat heavy day, so De Piggy does welcome Thursday. I've been workin' off-site in recent weeks and merely goin' in to pick up or drop off mi work, or for departmental consultation and such. Wif frequent progress reports and one ov mi computers constantly chuggin away wif company documents in PageMaker and Office Suite, it seemed like this arrangement would've lasted well into 2005--hopefully de year ov Piglet #2, which is why mi husband and I've been eatin green leaves and tryin to rearrange mi work schedule in anticipation and advance ov next year. I'm findin' that ah like takin' mi work home wif me; it's great! And workin' from my home-office enhances mi productivity--there are no distractin' big-bucks earners second-guessin' their various admins' grammar, and askin', "Mel, isn't there a better way for me to say this?" or, "Mel, how would you write this?" Plus, ah had time ta learn Bloggin!
Alas, yestry-day, an admin misplaced de folder that contained mi summary ov four quarterly Sub-strategic Initiatives; she insisted that she never got it from me--although we both knew that ah dropped it off, replete wif a read-only soft file and spreadsheets crunched to de department's best advantage--on snowy Monday. We'd even exchanged pleasantries over Vanilla Chai. Eventually, she found de document--after her exec, who disapproves ov work-at-home flexibility, sounded off at Da Piggy. >:-(
His apology was a brush-off, at best. He and de likewise stingy, unethical company are inflamed hemhorroids wif no regard for their internal or external customers. This flexible schedule has some serious drawbacks, so de Pigly family definitely has stuff to work out in that regard. Have a better day, luv!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


Hello, everyone, voici La Piggy! De radio announcer just played one ov mi favourite songs, John Mayer's "Daughters"--what a singer and a songwriter!
De song says girls need more love from their father--special request to man like Scratchie because him love and cherish Da Short One in an exemplary manner!--and I agree wif de song in general. Children in general need love--boys and girls--but ah really understand where de artiste is comin from when he focuses on girls--because a lot ov de moral decay in de Caribbean comes from girls and boys who don't know how to love--having never received love--and JA, especially, has a way ov sayin, "Women have baby, but men have maybe." Ah don't agree wif that kinda reasonin, but De Piggy won't get started on that! Anyway, here are some ov de lyrics from this wonderful song:

"Fathers be good to your daughters,daughters will love like you do,
Yeah, girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too.

Boys you can break, find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong, and boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth of a woman's good good heart
On behalf of every man, looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world."

Monday, December 20, 2004

Snow Day

'Twas a wonderful weekend, indeed, luv. Short and spicy. Then just as de weekend ended, de snow-storm started--ah wasn't too concerned about it when ah first heard about it; you know how de media can get people worked up wif these weather-watches, anyway turns out today is a snow day--not that it's snowin now, but it snowed all ov last evening and throughout last night, and the weather-person expects that we'll get more shear ice as de day goes on.
Anyway, must tell yu bout this: Ah heard a J'can lady complainin to another lady at de gas-station's check-out counter last night, that she didn't want her God-daughter spendin this Christmas wif her. (It had some-fing to do wif a lighter, an aerosol can, and an innocent snowman whose head was melted off at de godmother's house last year courtesy ov a fiery trick that de teenage girl learnt at a UWI dance wif Renaissance at de Maritime Centre in JA.) Anyway, to a captive audience, de woman preached in no uncertain terms about what a hooligan de girl was--"Yu si mi dyin' trial! That kinda behaviour from a bwoy wouldn't be so bad, but from a girl!" But then as she was leavin, she said to her friend, "Come wi hurry up and goh pick har up before she bun down de airport, yaah!" And ah realized that they were gassin up to go pick up de very same girl at de airport. De Piggy didn't fink that was such a great idea at all--if she doesn't want de girl there, how's she goin' to treat her once she picks her up? People doin' things that they don't want to do has to be one ov de major deterrents to world peace--'cause they'll have to let out their passive-aggressive resentment somewhere some time! And they could be standin right next to you or me when they finally let loose. Anyway, let's hope none ov them gets next to us today. Enjoy your day--and Kiss De Pig, luv!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

A Word from The Sermon

This is what De Piggy took from today's sermon: The baby Jesus in the manger is every homeless child you see this Christmas. Any gift you could give to one such child would be your gift to God. Have a peaceful Sunday!

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Pig in De Oven Bakin'

Actually, De Piggy's bakin' but she's not entirely in de oven, except to put in batter and take out cake! Sunshine and de Princess at de Tower asked mi about de spicy carrot cake recipe in their comments at one ov mi posts, so voila! This recipe is for everyone who loves to bake--Dr. D, de Princess might soon be bakin' this cake for your samplin pleasure ;-).
For the cake you need: 3 cups grated carrots, 3 cups sugar OR Piggy's way: 2 cups reduced (boiled down & cooled) fruit juices, 2 cups sifted flour, 2 tspns baking powder, 2 tspns baking soda, 1 tspn cinnamon, 1/2 tspn ground cloves, 1 tspn nutmeg, 1 cup seedless raisins, 4 large eggs OR Piggy's way: 2 eggs + 2 egg whites, 1 cup coconut oil OR Piggy's way: 1/2 cup coconut oil+1/2 cup apple/carrot puree, 1 tspn salt, grated rind of 1 orange, 1 tspn almond water, 1/2 cup crushed nuts.
Beat together egg and sugar, then add oil and beat to smooth consistency. Sift together the dry ingredients and add them to the egg & sugar mixture. STIR IN CARROTS. Yeah! That's De Piggy's favourite part, man! Preheat the oven to 325 degrees and bake for about 50 minutes. Test it wif a dry fork or toofpick. These ingredients should make two 9" round cakes.
For frosting you need: 4 oz Neufchatel (or regular) cream cheese, 4 oz fat-free cream cheese, 4 oz softened butter OR Piggy's way: 2 oz soft butter + 2 oz sour cream/yoghurt, 8 oz icing-sugar, 1/2 cup crushed nuts.
Cream the butter, sour cream, and cream cheeses together and beat in the sugar and vanilla, then LIGHTLY mix in the crushed nuts to coat them in the frosting. I always save some nuts to garnish de finished product--but do as yu like, luv, De Piggy ain't mad at ya.
This cake goes very well wif Sunshine's Punch a Creme, as ah discovered last night. Guests stoppin by to exchange gifts or just to say hi for a moment or two can enjoy a quick bite and a quick sip wif this combination, and be outta yu way in less than an hour, so you an' your loved one can have de place all to yu-self (especially wif de Piglet gone for movie night); in this precious privacy, two can eat and drink and joke around and discover how a touch ov liquor can clarify de matter ov Blog-links, and then yu can crash on freezin furniture on de balcony, and give nosy neighbors a field day--La Piggy's gettin carried away! Happy bakin and/or happy eatin!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Weekend Again

Weekend--again. Dr. D was right, Bloggers: Christmas gone before we know it.
Not much goin' on. We're lookin forward to havin' some friends over tonight--but briefly though, 'cause me haffe start my bakin', and ah have to wrap some more gifts for Mr. Pig (a sweater and a few nice shirts). Aside from that, it's all done. So this is de wrap-up weekend, then mi can just watch Christmas run past into de new year. Hope you're ready too. That's all, luv. Have a great weekend!!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Piggy & Pastor

Hi, Bloggers, how's your day goin'? Ah listened to a little bit ov Dear Pastess last night--his show is on far too LATE; people can't possibly listen to de whole fing and then wake up at a decent hour to start their day--anyway, for de past few nights, he's been givin' lovers advice like he does in The Star--although last night his official topic was depression--and ah realized that he's always tellin a lot ov de wives who call him not to punish husbands by shuttin' them out ov de bedroom, but to mediate their own marital disputes. Yet de wives who call seem to keep hintin' that, if they're displeased, de husband "goin' to sleep pon de couch" until every-fing's settled. That still boggles De Piggy's mind, Bloggers. Firstly, a husband would sleep on de couch just because wifey ordered him to do it? Secondly, if he likes de couch as opposed to de bed, that's a whole other talk-show; and finally, ah could never try to punish or spite Mr. Pig by banishin him to de couch or witholdin mi wifely favours when he annoys me, because ah like mi husband too much to do that sort of fing, so I'd be punishin mi own self. He's just a really good sort, thank God, and he doesn't play those mean-spirited games when he's irritated at me. Ah wouldn't want to spite mi-self by banishin' him, also because bein' wif him is one ov life's greatest sources ov enjoyment to me. Ah fink Dear Pastess should tell his radio congregation once and for all to stop callin him wif this silliness about usin' intercourse as a weapon to spite a spouse; that stuff can break up marriages. I've known mi husband for twelve years, and been married to him for almost ten, and so far we've got by wif just lovin' each other. And ah don't care who says I'm "soft" to mi husband; I'm not hung up on provin mi-self to people. Different strokes for different folks, ah guess. Okay, Bloggers, have a great day--and Kiss De Piggy.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004


Yes, Bloggers, Friday is fast approachin again--Wednesday is really like de Half-Way-Tree ov da week isn't it? Like a tangible midpoint. Anyway we're almost there--although this whole week seems somewhat festive.
Bakin' officially begins this weekend, and added to de regular fruit cake and puddin', De Piggy will be makin' a spiced-carrot cake--we got de idea from Mr. Pig's office get-together last week. (I call it a "get-together" instead ov a party, because just like mine, it was an extremely understated 1-2 hours ov elevator music--but de menu was good; de carrot cake was delicious.) I'll bake it de healthier way though, substitutin yoghurt, fruit juice, and extra carrots for milk, sugar, and butter; soh I'll be hittin de supermarket wif mi cousin this evenin--ah don't want to be in ANY store traffic after today--because from this Thursday til Christmas Day, de procrastinators should be out in full force--be fairly warned, Bloggers!
There's not a fing goin' on today, so I'll just wish you a great day, and say, "Kiss De Pig, luv!"

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Silent Pig

Here's what's restin' on mi mind this mornin, Bloggers: A friend told me last night she heard that Mr. Millwood, a transport entrepreneur (and president of Returning Residents?), announced to the media that he "should never have come back home to JA." People, dat look bad pon every expatriate who dreams of returnin home to work and live. He commented in The Gleaner that returnin residents are treated like "cockroaches" in JA. What does that mean, luv? Ah have to wonder what constitutes their day-to-day treatment as cockroaches. I dream of returnin' home at some point--and I'll be frank, sometimes I'm scared because de media in JA focus pon de violence soh much; but I still long for mi country. Still, if and when me an' mi immediate family return home, ah won't expect anyone to kiss mi arse just because ah came back. The very idea is absurd! Can't Mr. Millwood get over his own repatriation, or is De Piggy missin some important information in all ov this? What's goin on? Have a great day, luv--and don't forget to Kiss De Pig!

Monday, December 13, 2004

Start ov Da Week

Good Monday mornin, Bloggers. De weekend just rushed by, didn't it?
One minute a Friday, an' as mi blink, a Monday! Ah have quite a bit ov proofreading to do, but I'll fill you in on de bizarre part of mi weekend.
I wore mi husband's shirt (a roomy, breezy earth-tone that goes very well wif mi tan jeans) to de mall on Saturday. I knew I'd get back before he made it home from pickin up de pampered Piglet at a classmate's house--and ah was leavin in good time to do just that--but the leafy vegetables continue to take a toll on La Piggy's alertness, and as ah was rushin to de exit, ah suddenly realized that ah forgot de major fing that I'd gone to that mall to buy--de clutch-purse. Okay, ah decided, if ah move really fast, De Piggy can still get home before he does. Ah was SURE I'd be headin outta de store in no time--and I was; but as luck would have it, ah got snagged by a P-O-P display/Christmas tree right in front ov de slidin doors. Ah grabbed at the hem of mi coat to see where it got caught, but by the time ah realized that it wasn't mi coat, but actually de trim at the calf area of mi boot that had got caught, de guerilla cosmetic-clerk capitalized on de opportunity to take a good aim and shoot De Pork wif a big spritz of some brand name perfume--right pon de front a mi husban' shirt!! "This fragrance is a special sale; would you like another sample?" she asked. De Piggy just look pon har. She retreated. (She was just doin' her job, but sheesh!)
Ah finally separated the edge ov de display from de side of mi boot, and raced outside only to be slowed down by de parkin-lot traffic. OINK!! We got in at about de same time, and mi husband isn't pleased about de shirt. As we approach our tenth weddin-anniversary, De Piggy's summoned de power of de Sad Face many times--and it usually worked. (He'd become forgivin after a while, and say, "Is awright, Piggy; fix yu face, man.") Not this time. Mr. Pig is angry. I'll be callin on de power of Sunshine's Punch a creme--ah didn't get around to buyin de Bitters to put in de Punch yet--hopefully, it's a potent potion that will put Mr. Pig in a forgivin mood; but for now, it's as frosty indoors as it is outdoors. Gi de poor Piggy a kiss.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

A Sentence from The Sermon

This is what De Piggy took from today's sermon: "God grants wisdom to the man who will humbly lend an ear even unto the words of a fool, for even a broken clock can still be right two times a day." Enjoy your Sunday, Bloggers.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Piggy Perseveres

Another day, and the hunt for bargains is still on. De mall them crowded, Bloggers, but where are the DEALS? Ah hope Jdid and Sunshine are havin better luck findin bargains than I am. It's fun to search for them, but, man, last night De Piggy soh tired after all a de hustle and bustle that mi come home, bathe, check mi Blog, and just goh straight to mi bed.
Still, all was not lost--de bookstores are doing their fing, and ah bought a few good gifts there. Ah got a nice big pop-up book of Frank Lloyd Wright's designs. I'll have mi husband send that off to our old neighbour, since that was that neighbour's field. (Ah was finkin of gettin him a framed print of a Wright design, but this book is much better. It can be a favourite for him, and a nice coffee-table piece for his wife.) Ah fink mi husband liked the idea too, because he stayed up for a while, opening the book to various designs and examining the buildings, and when ah woke up this mornin' the book was already wrapped! (Too much tape, though! Him waste de tape, and then when de people unwrap de present, dem can't possibly recycle the paper 'cause the tape going to tear it up--and ah splurged a bit on that pricy paper. Oh, well.)
I got also a hardcover with full-color illustrations on baby-care for a pregnant friend--ah hope it doesn't duplicate any that she already has. (Not likely, though, it's the couple's first child, and she opted out of a baby-shower.) Ah got a colorful food/fitness book for Mr. Pig, and a crazy joke book for de Piglet. Mr. Pig wrapped the joke book too (once again, him use too much paper and too much TAPE, so this really Jazzy paper not going to be recyclable--but of course ah won't tell him this til after Christmas, 'cause he's a sweetheart for helpin out). Ah hid his fitness book in mi sweater-drawer. I'll wrap it later. Got so sidetracked in de hype of de mall yestry-day that ah didn't make it to the clutch-purse--will definitely do that today; wouldn't want to wait too late! Have a nice day, Bloggers, and Kiss De Piggy!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Da Weekend

Da weekend is upon us, Bloggers, and De Piggy can feel de joy in Blogland. Startin tonight, I'm lookin forward to combing de malls wif a fine-toof comb, and pickin out de best bruk-pocket deals from da high-end chains--De Piggy's favourite pastime is bargain-hunting. Fanks for da comments yestry-day--mi slight misgivins have disappeared, an Da Pork will definitely be prevalent in da malls. (It just wouldn't do to approach de mall, stiflin mi conscience and feelin like Geoffrey--da Fresh Prince of Belair's butler--who became Marathon champ after him tek a taxi to some obscure spot near da finish line, wet up himself wif water, and then staggered to cross da finish line wif all de drama of a sweaty champ. What a conscience dat man never have, eeh!)
I'll be tryin' out Sunshine's rum and milk recipe--no, it's not de average "Chase it wid some milk fe mi, Bartenda!" Sunshine described it in a comment, and it seems sweet and savory indeed. Anyway, Bloggers, that's it for ta-day. Ah hope everybody has a GREAT WEEKEND! Kiss De Pig, luv!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

In Her Heart

After over a decade ov white Christmases, Bloggers, De Piggy doesn't mind them so much anymore--a bit ov spiked eggnog also helps da Dainty Pig to dodge Jack Frost for a moment. However, Jamaica is still mi heart's desire; so when yu drink up de island vibes, please take a sip for De Pig.
Ever done somefing that made yu question yourself? Yestry-day, someone was tellin me that she had no idea what gift to give one ov mi favourite in-laws. Now, purely by coincidence, I know exactly what that in-law wants--exactly which clutch purse in exactly which colour at exactly which outlet!--but ah offered the person a somewhat vague response about fings that ah know mi in-law might find genuinely appealin. Why didn't I tell the person about the specific clutch that topped mi in-laws wish list? Because I'M plannin to get it for mi in-law this weekend, and if ah recommended it to someone else, then I'd be stuck havin' to select a different gift at the last minute. As ah drove home last night, ah wondered about what I'd done: had De Piggy exhibited swine-like behaviour? Ah don't like the thought ov that--and this is such a simple thing . . . Ah fink that might have been a bit uncharitable, but ah don't want to overfink it; I was honest wif the person, I just didn't give MY idea . . .
Anyway, the lines at the toy-drive were long--good to see that charity brings us out in our numbers. The bins were overflowing wif brand-new unwrapped toys--people are used to takin the used ones to the Salvation Army instead. Every time ah see the Salvation solicitors ringin their bells, ah remember when Jen Keane-Dawes said, "Them love ring de bell inna people face like them a labourite!" It makes me smile, and then feel weird, and drop an extra coin in their buckets as if that compensates for the indelicate humour. 'Tis a tasty challenge to be da Dainty Pig. Have a good day, luv--and rememba to Kiss De Pig.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Late Start

Hi, Bloggers. Today started slowly for me--know what I mean?--but it's a nice kind of slow, no scraping snow off-ah de car, everyfing melt, de asphalt don't icy an' slippery--nice! Yestry-day, de weather got better as de day progressed, but in de evening ah just kept mi arse quiet--and chilled--courtesy of dat early-mornin snow.
Scratchie just flash 'cross mi mind a while aggoh; ah can just see him inna de exam now a butter it up. Him a get up now fe goh sharpen him pencil--oh, no, now him a siddung back 'caw de invigilator just tell him seh him caan goh sharpen it. No problem, him just find a next one inna him bag. Scratchie a soldier fe true, nutten caan hold him back. Which reminds me: De Piggy's got to search Scratchie's site later, an' see if his picture is anywhere in it. Oh, yes, and today, I'll add the links to mi Blog--ah tried it before, but it didn't work, because--ah fink--ah got de e-mail parts wrong, or somefing, or somefing . . . Ah hope ah have better luck today. Anyway, Bloggers, hope everyfing's goin' nice for you too--kiss De Pig, luv.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Frozen Pork

Snow, Bloggers; and a one-hour delay at the pampered Piglet's school--and today of all days, when ah was supposed to make the somewhat long drive this evenin to see a very good friend (Syri, whom De Piggy met in grad school where we became fast friends). Ah don't know if there'll be more snow--it's not so bad now--but ah fink ah can live wif at least another year of 'phone calls and e-mails until Syri's next visit. In other words, ah shouldn't chance the drive--me an bad-weather drivin a noh friend--and it's silly to do someting that yu KNOW yu shouldn't do (like when Ivana tek off har skirt an' show everybody har baggy--an' Trump let har goh). De Piggy's not Ivana, mi skirt's still on, and I won't do the long drive. Not much more to say--hectic start to a hectic day--but ah couldn't neglect mi Blog. I'm growing just as attached to Blogdom as mi husband is growin attached to Mad Bull's blog. Ah hope yu all have a nice day, luv--kiss De Pig.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Monday, Monday

Hello, Blogland, how's your Monday? Mine's got money issues. Last night, when ah was ironin', mi pampered Piglet asked, "Mommy, how much money did yu collect for the fundraiser?" Turns out he has to turn in the papers today. Pressure. De Piggy haffe goh resurrect that from mi handbag now. Mr. Pig malice them tings deh. He wanted the school to serve only healthful/organic food/juices in the cafeteria, but the Board of Ed didn't completely follow through, when Mr. Pig went all out wif the overpriced fundraising catalog a couple years in a row, so now Mr. Pig leaves all de beggin to Da Piggy. Oink! "Yu naw contribute a smalls?" ah asked Mr. Pig. "Nope," he said, "and tek yu eye dem off-ah mi shirt dem!" (Side bar: He doesn't like it when De Piggy wears his GOOD shirts; an' of course, ah won't put on any a them--until him leave!) I'm not as vexed as Angry Dog, just slightly annoyed, 'cause I'll be stoppin at the Bankport to withdraw far too much money to sponsor overpriced items (so that de Piglet can win a prize for high-achievin' beggar). Lawd knows, him beg we enough!
I had no such beggar's luck, when ah used to do Walk-a-thon in grades 3 and 4. Ah recall one evenin' when De Piggy and a classmate hopped over to Red Hills Mall wif mi Auntie. We deedle-dawdled outside, waitin' for her and wavin' de paper about, until we saw an oldish woman and a little boy approachin. "Let's try them," De Piggy said, and mi classmate quickly chose the softer of the two--the oldish woman. De Piggy reluctantly approached the boy (in our peer group, about 9 or 10). He was goin' to buy some chocolate, he said, but then he smiled and split his chocolate money wif Da Piggy. Score!! Surprisingly, the "soft-hearted" oldish woman implied that she wasn't interested. (Ah believe her exact words were, "Move yu sowwah bumbo!") Then she went on to vent about how we better off than she, an' how our "people dem inna big job." What led her to think that? De Piggy's people worked in the low rungs (teller) at a bank (which, back then, I'm told, carried de same dubious status of workin' at Kentucky Fried Chicken in Cayman). It wasn't a question of smarts; yu only had to have a certain look to work there, an' mi relatives--male and female--had that glossy look; but suffice it to say that mi Walk-a-thon never made it to the heights of the icing-cake prize. People gave pitiful little--even when mi aggressive Auntie badgered her coworkers at de bank. Now, years later, here's De Piggy breakin' the unspoken beggin' code by puttin' up all de money herself! Jeez!
In closin', Dr. D., if U're still in da CD mode, try de soft new stuff from Latifah. And Jdid, I'm finally wonderin' why you're called Jdid (jaded). Okay; happy Monday, all--give De Pig a kiss, dawlin.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

One Sentence from The Service

De Piggy took this from today's sermon: "See Christmas and The Baby in a manger; think Easter and His crufixion on a cross."
On a similarly sober note, my condolences to Dr. D, Mad Bull, and Princess P, who are dealin wif some sad news. Let's summon God's perfect peace.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Sassy Song & Clumsy Pig

Hi, everyone; voici La Piggy! As ah type this, I'm listenin to mi fave song, "Friendly Pressure." Ah fink U can hear it @, if ya so desire. Ah been eatin a lot ov healthful leaves (lettuce, escarole, endives, radicchio), and it's makin mi less alert and turnin me into a Piggit (de love child of a pig & a rabbit)--and a clumsy one too! How? Well, ah had lent mi brother a mini mug-decanter--an old, treasured wedding gift--and ah almost broke it this mornin, while mi husband was bringin it back on a tray wif our quirky mugs. Ah forgot to hold the door for him, as ah entered wif mi usual gracelessness; and as if in slow motion, wif the words echoin' in mi head, ah looked around to see mi husband's wide-eyed face yellin, "KETCH DE DOOR, PIGGY-IGGY-IGGY!!" It felt like slow motion indeed, as ah dropped mi pocketbook, diving for the door, and steadied door and decanter just in time. Coulda been a minor disaster--thank God it wasn't. I'm seriously wonderin if eatin so many leaves is affectin La Piggy. R U all enjoyin da weekend? Kiss De Pig, luv.
Princess P, how do ah get to yu blog? Ah clicked on yu name at Dr. D's and so on, but ah can't find yu.

Friday, December 03, 2004

The Tour That Was

Bonjour, everyone, De Piggy's in da house. Oh, 'twas grand indeed, my tour of yestry-day. Ah did enjoy visitin The Doc--of da bay, watchin' da taa-hide roll away, oo-wee--oops! De Piggy got carried away, ah meant to talk about visitin The Doc, not Otis Redding's "Da Dock ov Da Bay." Now where was I--oh, yes! Ah visited Da Doc, and ah actually saw his photo from one of his early posts--he had some fine photos on his site indeed! Ah visited the prolific Angry Dog--BTW, Doggy, Da Piggy hopes yu have rubba teeth, as she DOES plan to visit again. Ah visited Stu and Jdid and Cya--all jolly-good fun! Ah got a chance to do a bit ov Bush-bashin at Jdid's, but ah bashed Kerry a bit as well--I'm still mad at him for losin', and for not bein rough enough to beat de Bush. Ah visited Scratchie, and got a good update on the UWI situation back home--ah do appreciate that. So, today De Piggy will tell yu how ah came to be Da Piggy: 'Twas a balmy evening years ago at Sovereign in JA; and De Piggy's husband was waiting to check-out, when a very brash young lady looked at the long cue of customers and hissed her teeth. "Mi naw join dat deh Embassy line," she said quite loudly to no one in particular. And De Piggy thought the disagreeable woman would've left the store then--but no, the girl merely loitered beside the line for a bit, and stood beside mi husband until she somehow stood IN FRONT of him in de line. He didn't even notice her. BUT DE PIGGY DID! "Don't cut in front ov him," De Piggy said nicely--the girl could've begged "a skip" wif the few items that she had; but the teggeh-reg underestimated La Cochonne and replied, "Mind yu owna business!" Of course, that did it for De Pig. "You naw put yer mowly self in fronta we," ah shouted, along wif a few more choice words; and ah reached around her and started loadin the contents of mi husband's carriage unto the cashier's conveyor before the cut-in queen could put hers there--and this pleasant Pork did share a few more unpleasant words as ah did that. Oh, she was angry; but she backed off, being smarter than she looked. The people behind us in the line wouldn't allow her to cut in front of them either, so she ended up displaced--all the better. As we left, mi husband commented about how ah "nyam off the girl' head like a hog." Ah disagreed, but he insisted that ah acted like a hog, and we argued a bit, with him eventually laughin at mi and tellin mi, "Shut yu beak, Miss Piggy!" Ah was about to protest the illogic of it--pigs don't have beaks--but then, ah felt a warm glow and ah was at a loss for words; something somehow fit: Ah found mi true identity! DE PIGGY WAS BORN!!!!! And so here I ham--don't forget to Kiss De Pig.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Piggy's Post-partum (after The Birth of Her Blog)

Ah, the day after! No post-partum depression, mind you; indeed, ah feel a Pigly high--and who said Piggy's couldn't fly? Firstly, fank yu all muchy ver (very much). De Piggy does appreciate you readin her blog. First ah wanna fank God for blessin me -- wif de mind to rhyme an 2 hype feet--oops! Oh no, De Piggy got carried away for a minute--that's not mi fank-you speech, that's MC Hammer's lyrics from Can't Touch This--an old Pigly favorite, mind you, just like the original Superfreak was--and don't we all still mourn the passin of one of the most powerful piggies--Rick James. Sincerely though, ah do THANK yu all very much for visitin. Indeed. There's really so much to oink about. Ah listened to Dear Pastess at last night (that's Dear Pastor for those of you who aren't familiar wif mi own peculiar Pig Latin). He's a laugh and a half, ah tell yu. He was broadcastin live from a toy store--the adult kind at that! Not toys for Piglets, but for grown hogs makin bacon--there are no words, there ARE no words! He's causin many swine to squeal in outrage or snort in amusement. De Piggy isn't outraged (after all she's a peculiar Pig--not a hog, a swine, or a sow!). Yes, Piggy can go wif the flow for the most part. Well, that's it for today, Bloggers. Time for Piggy to blog off, and get mi daily work done--don't forget to Kiss De Pig!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

First of December, The Birth of Piggy's Blog

It's marvelous, man! Mi first real blog!! Ah can't quite believe it, but it really brings out De Pig in me--the neatest, sweetest pig, actually! Today was largely uneventful. De Piggy spent quite a bit of time reading and editing--mi daily work--which is dear to mi heart; I've always got mi snout in some book or other; I've lost count of how many words are stuck to mi snout at this point. De Piggy hails from Kingston and St. Andrew--though she grunted about in St. Catherine too, before migrating to the U.S. (when pork-barrel politics called De Piggy's name and ah just couldn't resist). I miss mi friends from high school in Jamaiker, though; and I've tried to locate a few friends from sixth form--three girls (and one BOY to raatid after five solid years of only girls-school education!). Ah was a mere piglet back in those school days, trying to avoid the bacon tray--and yes, if ah were a cannibal, De Piggy would wear granny-print and gentlemen's shoes to a meal of pork chops. YEAH, Bybee! Hello!

Test Run

This is just a test run to see if the moppet is really on the go--or if de moppet naw work!