Friday, December 03, 2004

The Tour That Was

Bonjour, everyone, De Piggy's in da house. Oh, 'twas grand indeed, my tour of yestry-day. Ah did enjoy visitin The Doc--of da bay, watchin' da taa-hide roll away, oo-wee--oops! De Piggy got carried away, ah meant to talk about visitin The Doc, not Otis Redding's "Da Dock ov Da Bay." Now where was I--oh, yes! Ah visited Da Doc, and ah actually saw his photo from one of his early posts--he had some fine photos on his site indeed! Ah visited the prolific Angry Dog--BTW, Doggy, Da Piggy hopes yu have rubba teeth, as she DOES plan to visit again. Ah visited Stu and Jdid and Cya--all jolly-good fun! Ah got a chance to do a bit ov Bush-bashin at Jdid's, but ah bashed Kerry a bit as well--I'm still mad at him for losin', and for not bein rough enough to beat de Bush. Ah visited Scratchie, and got a good update on the UWI situation back home--ah do appreciate that. So, today De Piggy will tell yu how ah came to be Da Piggy: 'Twas a balmy evening years ago at Sovereign in JA; and De Piggy's husband was waiting to check-out, when a very brash young lady looked at the long cue of customers and hissed her teeth. "Mi naw join dat deh Embassy line," she said quite loudly to no one in particular. And De Piggy thought the disagreeable woman would've left the store then--but no, the girl merely loitered beside the line for a bit, and stood beside mi husband until she somehow stood IN FRONT of him in de line. He didn't even notice her. BUT DE PIGGY DID! "Don't cut in front ov him," De Piggy said nicely--the girl could've begged "a skip" wif the few items that she had; but the teggeh-reg underestimated La Cochonne and replied, "Mind yu owna business!" Of course, that did it for De Pig. "You naw put yer mowly self in fronta we," ah shouted, along wif a few more choice words; and ah reached around her and started loadin the contents of mi husband's carriage unto the cashier's conveyor before the cut-in queen could put hers there--and this pleasant Pork did share a few more unpleasant words as ah did that. Oh, she was angry; but she backed off, being smarter than she looked. The people behind us in the line wouldn't allow her to cut in front of them either, so she ended up displaced--all the better. As we left, mi husband commented about how ah "nyam off the girl' head like a hog." Ah disagreed, but he insisted that ah acted like a hog, and we argued a bit, with him eventually laughin at mi and tellin mi, "Shut yu beak, Miss Piggy!" Ah was about to protest the illogic of it--pigs don't have beaks--but then, ah felt a warm glow and ah was at a loss for words; something somehow fit: Ah found mi true identity! DE PIGGY WAS BORN!!!!! And so here I ham--don't forget to Kiss De Pig.

10 comments:

Jdid said...

great story piggie. sometimes one needs to be a bit hoggish cause nuff igrant people in dis world

Scratchie said...

Oink oink....I love it. Don't mess wid da pig.

Melody said...

Indeed, Jdid and Scratchie, U guys and De Piggy R on the same wavelength! Enjoy your weekend!

Anonymous said...

Nice likkle story. Welcome to da crew. I'll be back.
Mad Bull

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you Piggy. i hate dorers!

The ones that do it in that line of one way traffic behind Barbican square...I honestly would prefer to be a road hog and lick dem dan allow dem to bore in fronta me. I want a cyar wid a big ole dutty piece o iron pipe on it as the front bumper. Dr. D.

Anonymous said...

Typo...that should be borers. Dr. D.

Melody said...

Hi, Mad Bull, De Piggy's lookin forward to U droppin by again. Fanks a lot; and Dr. D. ah must admit, yu have a point, that's why De Piggy's a bit ov a road hog when in a rush--a road hog, but still da Dainty Pig!

Anonymous said...

Welcome Ms. Piggy! I just let Kermit out (he took a crap on my nice oriental rug!), and then while considering what it all meant, I come decide to come and visit Doc - and he sends me here... glad I came - great fun. But when I saw your name, I realized what happened.... I shooed the *&^*& prince of my life out of the house!!!!(and while I was shooing, I thought he was kinda cute too...dang!)
I will come back and visit as I practice my pucker and while I wait on Kermie to return - (I wont make the same mistake twice!!) If he comes to give you a check, tell him that his Princess is sorry, and anxiously awaits his return!
Princess P de la Bimshire

Melody said...

Hey, Princess P., Kermit got drafted, but he defected & is now on the run. Don't harbour him when yu see him! De Piggy wants to come check U out--how do ah get to yu blog?

Anonymous said...

Miss Piggy....Princess P is a member of the posse that posts at the Tower of Babel . I am unhappy to report that she hasn't written much about the happenings in the Kingdom of Bimshire recently. We anxiously await another post from her Highness! Dr. D.